Being someone who identifies with the Cassandra complex, this was an exceedingly good article. I have watched others get credit for my work in the past. I have seen bad things coming and tried to warn people and been called crazy. Even though I eventually turned out to be right. You made some excellent points I will try to take advantage of in the future, when I will need them more.
So good to hear from you, my friend thank you for commenting and reading my articles. I’m glad you like this one. I was pulling my hair out over it all day. With love always🙏🏼🕊️💗
I loved this article because it changed my perspective on competency. Not sure I ever really thought of it like this. As a chef people know I’m competent but I’m not always acknowledged for it because after years of being competent it’s expected. But I have learned to talk about it and write about it. And when I teach cooking, my students get to experience it.
This is a necessary articulation of something that so many people experience but cannot name. The Cassandra phenomenon is real. The feeling of knowing, sensing, or understanding something important while others refuse to hear it. The quiet injustice of being competent while someone else gets the recognition.
The distinction between appearing and being is the key. Machiavelli was not teaching people to be false. He was describing reality. How you are received is the structure. What you actually are is what holds it up from the inside. But without the structure, no one ever gets inside to see the foundation.
The point about Elena is important. The work does not speak for itself. It never has. You have to speak for it. Not loudly. Not performatively. Legibly. You have to translate your competence into something other people can receive and trust and act on. It is a gift to anyone who has ever felt the quiet injustice of being unseen.
I felt irritated reading this and that's a beautiful thing because yes, I'm always in the background fixing without people realizing and yet here I am in resentment. To be honest, I thought it was just the loudest who got seen more, so this really challenged my perspective on this and I love that. Thank you
A great article. I feel a lot of women can relate to the Cassandra complex, I certainly do. For centuries we have been taught how to hide in the background, often the power behind the successful man but it is than man who goes down in his-tory and is remembered.
I am sure they do… I identify with her problems as well because for years, I was warning people about the psychological damage that things talked about in pop music and pop culture and most certainly video games do to kids minds. When you repeat something ritualistically as you do in a video game, you then either shut it off and switch to a new topic or you want to ritual act it out. So violence and video games very often leads to violence in real life. Especially when kids have little to know guidance from their parents. You may not agree with me here, but now we see the results. The fruits of this problem are violent kids who, instead of having coping skills they do horrible things to each other. My son’s worst behavior, screaming, and yelling at the screen always involved playing online with his friends. I’m not saying he was an angel of the times. But I can see that his anger and aggression would come out worse while playing video games. 🎮 thank goodness he’s 16 now, but it makes me worried about this problem for my grandkids.
Totally with you on this, my son is 30 and does nothing but gaming. We live on completely different planets even though we live in the same house. Luckily he doesn’t play the really violent games, but he is disconnected from real life most of the time. He won’t listen to me and I’ve given up trying. He has got to find his own way. I just hope my energy rubs off in a subtle way.
Honestly, I can totally identify with this because until I got my son into hiking and other outdoor endeavors pretty much that’s all he did for like two years most specifically during the pandemic, as he was still very young. My daughter’s thankfully never got involved to heavily in gaming but my one daughter does use a lot of social media, which concerns me. Mainly because social media is so anti social! in some ways is more important than real life. And she generally is not present when we are all present. My mother used to say being present 💝 is a gift 🎁. And she was so right in so many ways. God rest her soul. Fortunately, my daughter is moving in the right direction and on her phone less as she’s now 20 and works a job and is doing an internship. The craziest thing I find about these addictions and they are addictions. Is that when you try to talk to the person about it they get angry and be belligerent. Very defensive about it. And that concerns me. Anyway, thank you so much for reading and sharing. I might write today’s what Nobody tells you about this subject.
This really resonated, as someone trying to break from a relationship where I’ve been told that im a liar because I’ve shared things that I have genuinely seen irl. Completely made to question myself at every level. I know how Cassandra felt 😥
What stayed with me most is the distinction between being competent and being legible.
So many capable people suffer quietly because they assume the work will speak for itself, while in reality, people often need help feeling the weight, the meaning, and the truth behind what has been built.
Not as performance. Not as manipulation.
But as translation.
There is something deeply human in that.
Maybe influence begins when what we carry inside becomes visible enough for others to trust it.
With all due respect, I think this subject matter is more complicated, especially today. We live in an equity and politically, agenda based world, and we all know incompetence, and destroying the system is what leads.
Being someone who identifies with the Cassandra complex, this was an exceedingly good article. I have watched others get credit for my work in the past. I have seen bad things coming and tried to warn people and been called crazy. Even though I eventually turned out to be right. You made some excellent points I will try to take advantage of in the future, when I will need them more.
So good to hear from you, my friend thank you for commenting and reading my articles. I’m glad you like this one. I was pulling my hair out over it all day. With love always🙏🏼🕊️💗
Really? Why? It was excellent and said things that needed saying. You did good! Love you too.
I loved this article because it changed my perspective on competency. Not sure I ever really thought of it like this. As a chef people know I’m competent but I’m not always acknowledged for it because after years of being competent it’s expected. But I have learned to talk about it and write about it. And when I teach cooking, my students get to experience it.
I am gave you got something from this one… I was pulling my hair out over this one for a while… with love always 🙏🏼🕊️💗Nemo⚓️
This is a necessary articulation of something that so many people experience but cannot name. The Cassandra phenomenon is real. The feeling of knowing, sensing, or understanding something important while others refuse to hear it. The quiet injustice of being competent while someone else gets the recognition.
The distinction between appearing and being is the key. Machiavelli was not teaching people to be false. He was describing reality. How you are received is the structure. What you actually are is what holds it up from the inside. But without the structure, no one ever gets inside to see the foundation.
The point about Elena is important. The work does not speak for itself. It never has. You have to speak for it. Not loudly. Not performatively. Legibly. You have to translate your competence into something other people can receive and trust and act on. It is a gift to anyone who has ever felt the quiet injustice of being unseen.
This is so validating! Thank you.
I felt irritated reading this and that's a beautiful thing because yes, I'm always in the background fixing without people realizing and yet here I am in resentment. To be honest, I thought it was just the loudest who got seen more, so this really challenged my perspective on this and I love that. Thank you
Glad you got something out of it… thanks for reading and sharing. With love always…🙏🏼🕊️💗Nemo⚓️
A great article. I feel a lot of women can relate to the Cassandra complex, I certainly do. For centuries we have been taught how to hide in the background, often the power behind the successful man but it is than man who goes down in his-tory and is remembered.
I am sure they do… I identify with her problems as well because for years, I was warning people about the psychological damage that things talked about in pop music and pop culture and most certainly video games do to kids minds. When you repeat something ritualistically as you do in a video game, you then either shut it off and switch to a new topic or you want to ritual act it out. So violence and video games very often leads to violence in real life. Especially when kids have little to know guidance from their parents. You may not agree with me here, but now we see the results. The fruits of this problem are violent kids who, instead of having coping skills they do horrible things to each other. My son’s worst behavior, screaming, and yelling at the screen always involved playing online with his friends. I’m not saying he was an angel of the times. But I can see that his anger and aggression would come out worse while playing video games. 🎮 thank goodness he’s 16 now, but it makes me worried about this problem for my grandkids.
Totally with you on this, my son is 30 and does nothing but gaming. We live on completely different planets even though we live in the same house. Luckily he doesn’t play the really violent games, but he is disconnected from real life most of the time. He won’t listen to me and I’ve given up trying. He has got to find his own way. I just hope my energy rubs off in a subtle way.
Honestly, I can totally identify with this because until I got my son into hiking and other outdoor endeavors pretty much that’s all he did for like two years most specifically during the pandemic, as he was still very young. My daughter’s thankfully never got involved to heavily in gaming but my one daughter does use a lot of social media, which concerns me. Mainly because social media is so anti social! in some ways is more important than real life. And she generally is not present when we are all present. My mother used to say being present 💝 is a gift 🎁. And she was so right in so many ways. God rest her soul. Fortunately, my daughter is moving in the right direction and on her phone less as she’s now 20 and works a job and is doing an internship. The craziest thing I find about these addictions and they are addictions. Is that when you try to talk to the person about it they get angry and be belligerent. Very defensive about it. And that concerns me. Anyway, thank you so much for reading and sharing. I might write today’s what Nobody tells you about this subject.
This really resonated, as someone trying to break from a relationship where I’ve been told that im a liar because I’ve shared things that I have genuinely seen irl. Completely made to question myself at every level. I know how Cassandra felt 😥
This was such a powerful reflection🫶
What stayed with me most is the distinction between being competent and being legible.
So many capable people suffer quietly because they assume the work will speak for itself, while in reality, people often need help feeling the weight, the meaning, and the truth behind what has been built.
Not as performance. Not as manipulation.
But as translation.
There is something deeply human in that.
Maybe influence begins when what we carry inside becomes visible enough for others to trust it.
Beautiful piece, Nemo. 🕊️
Thanks Cassandra and I were pulling our hair out over this one today 🤣🙏🏼🕊️💗with love always Nemo ⚓️
This made me smile. 😅
I know that feeling of pulling your hair out over a thought that doesn’t want to be easily put into words.
I’m just happy if my reflections could be a small part of the conversation.
I also have to say that I love your sense of humour. 🤣
Sending love to both you and Cassandra. With gratitude always. 🫶
I desperately needed to hear this today. It reached me. Thank you. I appreciate your work in the world! 🙏
Thanks 🙏🏼🕊️💗
With all due respect, I think this subject matter is more complicated, especially today. We live in an equity and politically, agenda based world, and we all know incompetence, and destroying the system is what leads.
Loved this. Thank you for sharing.
What fabulous advice, I so appreciate your writing on these topics and I learn so much. Thank you